She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
