Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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