We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
