my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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