That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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