well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
