summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
