Your tits are I can't wait for
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We talked him into tasing himself.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
