well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
