you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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