He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Mom said you looked used
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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