I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
