Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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