are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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