also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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