Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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