I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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