Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
