Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
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She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
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I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
They have beer where we have blood.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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