with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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