I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
