Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
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Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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