well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
