...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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