i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
