What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
