Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
