i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
