So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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