i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
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Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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