The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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