Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
