I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
