K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Is it because I queefed?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
