Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
