Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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