i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
