people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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