If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
