im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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