Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
