that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
