hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Vodka?
Forever.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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