i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know her cup size but not her name....
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