If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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