Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize