Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She even gives head with a lisp.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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