you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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