No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
