I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude i'm inner monologue high
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
