I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
