Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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