So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
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He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
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They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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