the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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