where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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