Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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