sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize