oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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