I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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