why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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