I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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