why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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